SOME OF US ARE WATCHING/WINTER 2004                                                                                                         ISSUE 6

I quote David Sedaris all the time.  No one knows what the hell I’m talking about.  When someone says something rude or particularly spiteful to me, I smile and say boldly, “Thank you! Thank you!”  That’s what David Sedaris said in The SantaLand Diaries to “a brawny wise guy wearing a vinyl jacket and carrying a bag from Radio Shack.”  He stepped up to David and announced, “You look soooo fucking stupid!”  David was dressed as an elf. 

If you ever read or listen to any works of David Sedaris, The SantaLand Diaries is the one you want to go with.  He gets a job as a Macy’s elf at the department store in New York and takes you on his journey through Santa Land.  It is amazing what people will endure for a three-minute conversation with a person they have never met, who is merely an idea of a person based on fictional stories they have heard or read.

David Sedaris has changed my perception of writing, which indeed is my life.  The first time I heard Sedaris on NPR’s This American Life I thought,  “This guy has got to be kidding.”  I told everyone. “Listen to this guy,” I said, “he is hilarious.”  His voice alone could stop the dial but what he writes just makes you say, “Yeah, I know someone just like that.” 

He said he hates his own voice.  I guess most people do.  But his voice is what brought me to buy the audio of his works instead of the print.  I feel I’m getting more done that way.  I can paint a picture, hear a book and have company all at the same time.  I think I have A.D.D.
Jim called and told me to get online with my credit card number, David Sedaris was going to be at Mershon Auditorium and he had found great seats.  He wanted it to be a surprise and had tried his own card twice but the code on the back had rubbed away and didn’t go through.  This is the story of my life.  I typed mine in and there was no money left in our account.  Apparently, the ticket company charged us twice and then put our money “on hold” because the code number was wrong.  We had to bum some money off his parents the following weekend to get seats in the nosebleed section.  I was highly disappointed.  Three years ago I would have never even imagined seeing Sedaris read, but now I wanted to see him spit and lisp up close or even just drop his pen.  I settled with “I was there.” 


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