But they are functioning.  So would it be an addiction only in that they feel bad about it?  You said you don’t feel bad about it.  Have you ever felt bad about it? 

Certainly, yeah. Especially in the beginning.  To kind of give a little bit of my history, I got married when I was 20 years old and I had only ever had sex with her so there was a point in my life where I came home from my honeymoon and I sat down and looked across the table and I said you and you alone will be the only person I have sex with forever and I meant it.  Promiscuity was not promoted in my family, as it never is, I’m not saying that that is abnormal but of course everybody thinks that you should never have sex ever in society, that’s sort of the pressure to have sex with as few people as possible I suppose, or only do it for love, or fill in the blank. 

So that’s what I thought, so when I started having sex with other people and the numbers started to mount it represented failure.  It represented failure because I was taught my whole life it was wrong.  I think that if you take anybody and tell them their whole life wearing shoes is bad and the entire village convinces this person that shoes are bad and then one day somebody looks at them and says, ‘The reason your feet are all tore up and you’re having trouble walking to school and you can’t do your job and you’re in such pain is cause you won’t wear shoes. Here put these on.’  The person might acknowledge that, ‘Hey this is a pretty good idea I should wear these shoes.’  But that’s a lot to over come.  Psychologically you feel that wearing shoes is bad.  In the beginning, psychologically, I felt that having sex was bad and society sees it as bad.  And you know the best example I have is we’re doing this interview anonymously. So as much as I say having sex is fine and you can fuck whoever you want and it’s a free country and you can do whatever you want…don’t…don’t publish my name… 

Yeah, and if I did it would effect your job wouldn’t it? 

Right. 

And it would affect maybe even your friendships with some of your friends? 

Now, it wouldn’t, because I’m 35 years old now.  I started fucking everything that moved when I was 23, it definitely impacted friendships early on because the friends that I made were like, he’s a married guy like me and then I became guy that has sex with everything that moves and people decided they didn’t like that.  They thought that it made me immoral and once again, not to keep tying it back, but there’s no fact, there’s not one single fact that you can point to that makes having sex immoral; there just aren’t any.  All you can point to are concepts and social constructs and ideas but there’s no fact.  Me having a lot of sex doesn’t make me a bad person. 

I could give you a list of my accomplishments, but you know them…I do a lot of charity work, I do a lot of volunteer work, I’m a good friend, and people rely on me.  When people that I know and love need me and I say that I’m coming they have no doubt, I’m coming.  I’m just also a guy that fucks a lot of people.  But you know at the same time I’m not a guy that fucks a lot of people anymore and I have no idea how long it will stay that way.  Once again I will say that I’m not a cheater.  I think that lying to somebody is immoral.  If you tell somebody that you are not going to engage in an activity and then you do it behind their back, it doesn’t make you an addict, it makes you an asshole. And I’m not an asshole.  Not often.  But it can be all consuming, it takes a lot of effort to have sex, I don’t mean the physical act of having it but it’s a lot of effort to get laid and it can be quite expensive.  During my heyday I probably spent $50,000 on hookers; it’s not a cheap activity. 

On average, how many in a week did you get, or is it per day, night, or this day? ‘On Sunday I’ll go out and have a lot of sex.’  Or was it every night, or just on a whim? 

Obviously, if I was sick I didn’t have sex, I was probably thinking about it though!  It can be consuming which is problematic.  Please don’t misunderstand, if you’re constantly thinking about anything it does prevent you from thinking about something else, it’s just logic.  It was often, it was everyday, and occasionally I’d get tired. If I had a bad day at work I’d go home and crash, I wouldn’t have sex that day.  You have to put a lot of effort into continuously getting laid, you have to know a lot of people, you have to go to places where other people want to have sex, you have to comb the internet, you have to constantly be chatting people up, you have to constantly be asking other people if they want to have sex, I mean, it’s like sales.  The best sales people are the ones that ask people to buy their stuff the most often, you don’t just sit back and wait in your house and people show up to fuck you unless you pay for it which is sort of the last ditch effort, and there’s all kinds of things you can say about that I suppose.  It takes a lot of effort; you have to go to places where you can get laid. I was lucky, I say luck, but I guess I just have that personality. You know, it worked for me. I’m not stunningly attractive, I’m tall I suppose, but I’m not a movie star, I don’t have six pack abs, when I walk down the street women don’t fall over themselves to turn around and look at me. 

I’m a normal looking guy, but I got laid when I was fat, I got laid when I was thin, and everywhere in between.  People respond to personality and I apparently have a good one and I have no idea what it is.  If I could figure it out I would teach it, if I could teach people how to get laid on any scale I think I could be a millionaire but, I don’t know, I just talked to people and people were receptive.  It’s a numbers game and there’s a cost, all the time that I spent trying to get laid it was time that I wasn’t making friends, it’s times that I wasn’t meeting ‘the one.’  Now, I wasn’t necessarily looking for ‘the one’ and I don’t believe that all humans have to couple or you’re somehow bad.  The time that I spent single or the time that I spent having sex with people I don’t necessarily think it's time wasted but the only thing I got out of it was a whole bunch of sex and that was fine.  But moving forward in life at some point I wanted more than that, you know, I was in a non-monogamous relationship for a while where I could have both and I’m not in that relationship anymore, and no it didn’t fail because of the non-monogamy which is the other sort of stigma associated with it. ‘Oh you were non-monogamous and now your single,’ totally related right?