Folklore hath stateth that the notorious itching underneath a cast has driven the best of men and women to insanity. They even had a master caster employed in some of the ritzy, high tech,  torture chambers during the Middle Ages. Yes indeed, the itching is quite intense. As best as I can remember I thought the cast lining was made from asbestos just  hours after installation.  Of all the cast hassles, the itching one proved to be minor. I have found a very viable and safe invention to scratch the itch. I would tell you what it was but there is a patent pending. A friend of mine hobbled by my cube at work wearing a cast because of a broken ankle. I let him use the “invention”. His eyes rolled back in his head, a pleasured moan escaped his parted lips, and his left leg shook not unlike a dog’s when you scratch the precise spot on it’s belly.  He panted “thank you” and gave me a big lick.

          A good example of how unfair nature can be is what I like to call “The Law of Atrophy”. Everyone knows that the lack of use of most any body part (maybe not the head) leads to a shrinking of that part due to the muscle not being used. An acquaintance at work said the shrinkage was due to the sweating that goes on under the cast thus resulting in appendage weight loss or AWL.  I go with the muscle theory. Regardless, it would seem that the punishment of having a chicken wing to contend with once the cast is removed would be sufficient. But here’s where nature is brutal. Remember, the healthy appendage has worked twice as hard to compensate for the sick appendage’s lack of performance. The result of this increased activity is that the good limb has grown larger.  Increased versus decreased girth. The state of lopsidedness is compounded due to “The Law of Atrophy”.  I won’t be wearing my mauve body suit any time soon. That’s for sure.