He showed up at a perfect time in my life, after being dumped in the year prior by a boy who thought cigarettes and sluts were more interesting than me I found me and Chris got along quite well.  He was lonely, heartbroken and his album cover looked like he was in a prison cell.  How much more could we have in common?  That’s why when my mom excitedly told me he was having a concert in our town I dug out my money, not only blue was my heart, blue was my color.

           I picked a girl with a car and a love for k.d. lang and when she told me she would go I bought the tickets.  But on the day of the concert she stood me up, her baseball game was away, she explained, and would not get back in time.

           “Sorry,” she said through the phone, pretending to sound sincere, “I forgot.” 

           Forgot?  Did she forget she owed me $17.50? (Yes, $17.50 in those days) I called a carless friend and began complaining to her.

“You have to take my brother!!”  She screeched.

For a couple of months she had been trying to get me to date him and for some reason the thought of her having access to that kind of information on the both of us at once gave her a high like a double vodka.  He had said something about me on one occasion and she told me right away even though he had told her not to.  “He thinks you look like Cher," she tattled, "only better because you have more curves.”  Flattering, but not grounds for dating or marriage, which was all his sister could see in our future.  He was a lot older than me and I think he was not as interested as she let on and, besides, after being dumped by a 16 year loser why would I want to chance getting dumped by a man with a job too?  But, out of desperation, I agreed to give him the ticket; he had a car, after all.  My friend was ecstatic and he asked if I liked stubble or shaved…stubble, of course, you just didn’t get that on a 16 year old.  She said he was picking me up in a hooptie and not to laugh (for those under 30, the term “hooptie” was coined by Sir Mix-A-Lot and is now referred to as “piece of shit car” which was coined by Adam Sandler.)